SWEET SEBASTIAN: AM I RAISING A WHIMP?

Let's face it, kids are mean. This is not intentional, they just are.  Some toddlers are rough, rude, selfish and yell, MINE, MINE, MINE. My kid is not like this and I am not just saying because he is my darling little angel.  He is a nice boy. He is a sweet boy.

For example: yesterday at the playground a boy (same age) kept following Sebastian around the playground and literally taking every toy out of Sebastian's hands.  My son would just look at me and wonder what he did wrong.  I have no problem taking the toy out of his hands and giving it back to Sebastian and diverting the other boy's attention elsewhere. But it kept happening.  Today, we had another situation where a little girl was pulling toys out of Sebastian's hands and Seb would cry because he was upset.  My boy was just minding his own business. I've noticed he does not do this to others - ever.  He also does not stick up for himself like those kids do and he should. Instead of crying or looking confused when they take the toys away, Sebastian should grab it back. But he doesn't  I guess he doesn't think or know to do that behavior.

I've also noticed that Sebastian will gladly give a toy to another child or baby. When his "friends" come to "his" house to play I tell Sebastian to show them his cars or trains. He does and gladly lets them play with "his" toys.  Again, when the situation is reversed, the "friend" will not allow Sebastian to play with their favorite toys, or stop my guy in his tracks and take back the toy.

I am not saying this is the parent's fault or these kids are evil. It's just survival of the fittest and this starts as early as babyhood. I just wonder if my sweet boy will survive. Will he be the wimpy kid at school? Will he get teased and beat up? We live in a mean and crazy world and you need to be TOUGH to survive and these skills are learned in the early years.  But how do you teach your child to be tough, sensitive and kind?  I guess I need to figure it out and quickly.

LOCATION! LOCATION! LOCATION!

City vs. Suburbs.  I grew up in the suburbs (Rydal, PA). I couldn’t wait to move to the city and did it and worked hard to get there. I moved to the greatest city of all, NYC.  I was 24 and in my glory and lived there for 7 years and then went straight to another city, the most beautiful city of all … San Francisco. 11 years and going strong.  Now we have a 2 year old and we are outgrowing our apartment. Kids need space. We need a yard, closets and more space. We need a bedroom when Nonna visits. We just need more. Our dilemma: city vs. suburbs. 

Suburbs: better schools, community, yard, garage, quiet, our son will (hopefully) grow up with the same group of kids, safety, solitude, SPACE. But it’s boring. There’s not much to look at and not much to do. I was bored in the burbs. You are either at home or in the car driving, driving, driving with traffic & strip malls. 

City: colorful people, amazing restaurants (and always new one’s popping up), hipsters, museums, nice parks for kids and adults, movement, loud, buses, trains, action, life. I marvel of how well my son eats. We go to the farmer’s market 2x a week and pick up fresh and organic produce and fruit. My son eats organic and farm fresh food every day. He doesn’t even know how well he has it.  But we worry about the schools (gangs!), and we do not have a big space. Nonna stays in a hotel when she visits. We also have street parking and no yard.  We really want that yard!

We went to the east coast in May. My son kept asking about cars and buses. He missed them. He missed going for walks and seeing all the action in the street. He missed the buses and trains.  He missed city life.

I don’t know if we can “do” the suburbs. I just don’t know.  I am afraid we will be bored and sick of driving everywhere. We will get heavy (that’s what happens there, you gain weight and become lazy since you drive instead of walking everywhere).  But I keep thinking about the schools, yard and garage.  It would be nice to have that house. It would be nice to just sit and relax instead of always on the go, go, go!  It would be nice knowing my son is going to a good school and he will grow up the same kids. But raising a city kid is very cool. He would be sophisticated and be a little different from those cookie-cutter suburb kids. He will have much more life experience.  

I just don’t know. I wish we could have it all, but we can’t.  But I do know that suburbs is probably not for us. We need to find an in between place that has both worlds.  If you know it, do tell.

SEARCHING FOR SALLY

I am looking for the perfect girlfriend and can not seem to find her.  I moved to San Francisco 10 years ago from New York City and in the east coast I was able to establish  friendships still going strong. Some of my best friends I’ve known from childhood and others I picked up along my path.  However, in San Francisco I still struggle to find that perfect someone.  I’ve been searching for 10 years and I’ve met a lot of incredible people and most of which I would love to establish that tight, close friendship, but it’s just not sticking.  I can not seem to find my “Sally.” That one friend I can call at anytime and hash it out. The one friend I can count on to help me in a pinch or see a movie with on Sunday nights.  I love my friends here but I want more. I just ONE female, just one I can count on. I guess it’s age. As we get older it’s harder to get close to people. WE ARE BUSY! WE ALL have a lot going on and when one gets married and has kids then forget about it. It’s all over.  So here I am 10 years later and still searching for Sally….

(This post is dedicated to Sally, Stacy, Joanne, Melissa, Amy, Jamie, Kim, Jodi & Scott - my east coast crew)!